September 18, 2011
Dear Elder Jake Man-
Thanks for your letter and pictures! You are the bomb- diggity! I have decided to go against our usual hand written letters JUST THIS ONCE because I want to answer a couple of questions that you had and I can type a whole lot faster than I can write.
First of all, I'm so excited that you are doing the mormon.org thing and that the Church is pushing so much of it. I am working on my profile now and I'll get it up and running soon. I'm excited to see your profile. If you need any pictures, let me know.
We are doing great here. Kayci and I just got back from Mickey Town and it was super fun. We did our "just mom and sis" thing for her birthday and I'm so glad that we had the chance to spend so much time alone together. We got alot of "girl talk" in and she loved the things we did. She was especially excited to go to Hollywood in our rental car and she kept saying that "Jake would love that!" or "Dad would love that!" She really loves you and she talks about you alot.
Jessi and Alan are doing awesome and just love to spend time together. That is the way marriage is supposed to be. They are just really good friends. She loves doing stuff for him and she is a serious Betty Crocker now! CRAZY TALK!!!
So, about your letter. I just wanted to write to you about your comments about you and Elder Williams and your part about, "We have our differences and don't get along. hahaha! Don't worry though, it's all good. We are totally going to work things out. But if you have any tips for me on how I can strengthen our companionship, that would be awesome." In another part of the letter, you complement him on his missionary style and approach and then at the end of the letter, you are concerned about him and the fact that he doesn't get any letters.
Jacob, that's the attitude that you need to have... the one that you already possess. One of the hardest things about missionary work is being with a stranger 24/7. You are forced into a situation of working and living with a person that you haven't chosen to be with. I truly believe that those are your choicest blessings. You will be asked to grow in ways that aren't always fun. In fact they rarely are ever fun.
The fact that you are already concerned for Elder Williams' welfare is a step that most missionaries never attain. You have always been the type that is truly concerned about others. The one concerning common thread in almost all of your letters is that of you not really being as great of a missionary and maybe even a person, as some of the people that you touch shoulders with. Jacob, that is a concern for me.
Humility is not a self-loathing or even a self-disgust or disappointment. Heavenly Father does not want us to not like ourselves and think other people are better than us. That's not humility. That's not what a leader does or how a leader feels. A true leader and disciple of Christ is one who knows that God is our Father, and that fact makes us great. He wants us to treat others with love and respect and the kindness that He would treat all of us, including ourselves. Elder Bednar said you are to "become the missionary that the Savior expects." That is a missionary who loves himself, loves his companion as a fellow disciple of Christ and respects the differences between the two.
Maybe it would help to remember some of the things that you learned by growing up with Kayci. I used to tell you guys that Heavenly Father must really love us because he gave us Kayci. I would tell you that for your benefit, but mostly for mine. I have come to realize a very important truth.... That is that we are put on this earth to learn to love those people who are difficult to love. It's easy to love those who are easy to love.... isn't it? But to love those people that test and try our patience and make us struggle... that's a whole other story.
Jake, having a companion that may or may not be your favorite, is a gift. Find out more about him. Ask him about his family and his friends. His hopes and dreams. And in Elder Williams case, his health. Maybe his health is more of a struggle for him than he lets you know. Maybe he is having some personal struggles that you aren’t aware of. Maybe he is grossed out by the fact that for you, brushing your teeth is optional. Maybe you snore and you don’t realize it. Maybe he doesn’t like the way you do your hair, (I’m not sure what look you’re going for in some of those shots…) Maybe he is the spawn of Satan and must be destroyed. (JOKE) I have never known you to not get along with anyone, so why him? What do you have to learn from this Elder? It could be a wonderful thing.
Also, I don't believe that you should just "go along to get along" as they say. You are entitled to revelation as well and this is where the part about your self-worth comes in. You are a phenomenal missionary, Jake. I have been told that my many of your companions and the people that you come in contact with. Don't under estimate your own abilities and your own ways of reaching people. You don't need to be a goof ball ALL the time. (Like in MOST of your pictures... grrrrr) Although there is a time for that, you have a great knowledge base to draw from and to share. I have seen you on Trek be a very spiritual leader. I have seen you in alot of situations where you have taken the lead and done an exceptional job. You have been touched by the Spirit numerous times and those spiritual experiences are the ones you should share with your investigators and your fellow missionaries.
Today in Sacrament meeting the focus was on Missionary Work. One guys talk was especially good to me. He spoke about the fact that all of us came to earth with a knowledge of the Savior and of the truthfulness of His divinity. He quoted President Joseph F. Smith “All those salient truths which come home so forcibly to the head and heart seem but the awakening of the memories of the spirit.” He then asked: “Can we know anything here that we did not know before we came?” (By the way, "salient means- prominent, of notable significance.) Always be ready to bear your testimony. Share it often and WRITE IT DOWN. Share your own personal experiences, however small you think they may be, you never know what will touch the heart of another. WRITE YOUR SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCES DOWN, TOO!!! Always be ready to give an answer. Become a pro at sharing a spiritual experience, Jake. Seriously. The guy who spoke today used an example of the "Rule of 10,000". That is that is takes 10,000 hours of whatever you are doing to become an expert at it. Whatever field that is. You only use about 7-8,000 hours actually serving a mission. You probably won't achieve "EXPERT" level using this rule, but what it tells me is that by living, breathing, and being a worthy missionary, you come pretty darn close. ( I actually did the math and if you count 24 hours a day, 365 days for two years you have 17,520 hours so I'm going with THAT number!)
Pres. Hinckley has stated that the world needs a generation of young men and young women who will testify that God lives. You always say that your companions can "reach people that you can't". I'm sure that's true. I also believe with all my heart, that YOU can touch people that they can't. Have confidence in the power of YOUR influence, Jacob. It is a wonderful thing to be humble, and it's a gift you have been given at a very early age. People are drawn to you because you accept them for who they are. Their weaknesses and strengths. So for you to develop your leadership skills and your ability to have the confidence that you should, your effectiveness as a missionary and as a man, will be profound. I truly believe that you will be given the gift of discernment for the people that you come in contact with like no one else that I know. You will be able to feel the desire of their hearts and then have the courage to bear such a strong testimony of the truths that you know, that you will be a great tool for bringing people to know that God lives.
Jacob, you really are the bomb. You know that you're my favorite son and that I love you Zuka juice to the moon. I'm glad that you can talk to me about things that may be bugging you. I will always be here, looking at the same moon. When you need to talk, just write it down, just like we were sitting at the kitchen counter eating ice cream, or driving in the car. Just TALK to me when you need to. But most importantly, TALK to your Heavenly Father. TALK to yourself while writing in your journal... (you ARE writing in a journal? right?) You have all the answers you need inside of you. You always have.
I know that you will find the answers to getting along better with your companion. Just listen to the Spirit. But I might suggest one thing... if you're not getting along, maybe you're not working hard enough. If you were busy 24/7 you wouldn't have TIME to not get along. Ya think?
You can learn something from everyone. Learn what you are supposed to learn from him.
I'm not sure if this was the letter you wanted, but that's all I got. Like my dad used to tell me... "I don't know. What do you think?"
I love you, Elder Dude.
Mom
